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Coach Minda's
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These blogs are a way to share my thoughts and insights with you. Feel free to comment and share.
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Being in nature and beauty - taking a break from our addictions The Little Addictions We Don't Notice
My Instagram feed used to be full of things I genuinely liked—rescued elephants living their best lives, ballroom, latin or argentine tango dance performances, heartwarming moments from America’s Got Talent. And, yes, endless exercise videos… most of which I watched while sitting perfectly still. While harmless enough, I was noticing an increase in my instagram use. Addiction had never been a concern for me. I’ve always thought of myself as moderate, even measured, in my indulgences. But then I heard Dr. Anna Lembke, author of Dopamine Nation, explain how even small habits can rewire the brain’s pleasure–pain balance. That’s when I started wondering if my scrolling wasn’t about light-hearted joy anymore… but a low level compulsion, like scratching a quiet itch. I took action. Instagram and Facebook are gone from my phone. My initial goal was a month without them, but at this point, I suspect it’ll be a permanent goodbye. Looking back, they weren’t adding much of real value—just feeding a reflex I didn’t consciously choose. A Quick Detour into the Brain Stuff Here’s the gist of what Dr. Lembke describes in Dopamine Nation. Our brains run on a pleasure–pain balance, a bit like an old-fashioned scale. On one side is pleasure, on the other, pain. Whenever we do something enjoyable—eat chocolate, watch a great video, get a “like” on a post—dopamine is released, tipping the scale toward pleasure. But the brain always aims for balance. So after that dopamine high, it tilts the scale back—sometimes with restlessness, boredom, or a craving for more of the same thing. If we keep chasing pleasure before the brain has time to reset, the scale tips and stays tipped toward pain.Eventually, we’re no longer doing the thing to feel good—we’re doing it just to stop feeling bad. That’s how a simple habit can slide into dependency. The Good Side of Dopamine Dopamine gets a bad rap when we talk about addiction, but it’s not the enemy—it’s essential. It’s the chemical that fuels motivation, curiosity, focus, and drive.It’s why you feel that spark when you start a new hobby, the burst of energy when you start a new challenging job, or the satisfaction of finishing up a project. Dopamine is what gets us moving toward our goals. Without it, life would feel flat. The trouble comes when we overuse dopamine-triggering activities without giving our brains space to reset. Then the thrill fades, and we’re left chasing the next hit just to feel “normal.” Dopamine vs. Addiction
I wasn’t spending hours on social media, but I was checking it because not checking felt… itchy. We’re All Hooked on Something I think we all have our micro-addictions. Not necessarily the dramatic kind, but the quiet loops we slip into without noticing. Some are physical, some are mental. Sound familiar?
None of these are necessarily bad in moderation. But when they become your default, it’s worth asking: Am I choosing this, or is it choosing me? Some people’s brains are also more wired for novelty—new jobs, new hobbies, new adventures. That hit of dopamine can be wonderful… until it turns into constant restlessness or burnout. A Tiny Experiment You don’t have to overhaul your life to test this. Just pick one habit you think might have more power over you than you’d like. Step away from it for a week. Notice the pull it has on you. Notice what happens when that pull starts to fade. That space you feel? That’s where freedom lives. I’ve deleted my Instagram and Facebook accounts, but thanks to my website, I can still share posts automatically. If the blog resonates with you, I’d be thrilled if you shared it on your feed or in your stories. And in the spirit of chasing a little dopamine hit… a like or comment would make my day! Wishing you health, peace and happiness Coach Minda
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 I just got back from a two week holiday in the Provence (France) countryside, and it was a real break from the non-stop news about everything going wrong in the world —well, except for the NYtimes notifications I still hadn’t turned off. I don't completely unplug from news or texting my kids and friends. I hiked between Luberon villages, wandered up to quiet hilltop chateaus, walked in Roman archeological ruins and rode my e-bike past olive groves, vineyards, red poppies, towering cypresses, and those beautiful purple-flowered Judas trees. It was simple and peaceful—a stark contrast to the gut-wrenching suffering, conflict, and chaos that fill the headlines. At the same time, I'm sensitive to the everyday struggles people face—like trying to afford groceries, find a family doctor, or access mental health support. This kind of travel feels like a luxury—a true refuge from all of that. I can’t say it was a much-needed break—my life is good, and I’m lucky not to be facing any major troubles. But being in nature, moving my body, and taking on the physical challenge of those hill climbs, shifts me back into my headspace—not the world’s — and that is what feels so good! Gentle reflection I don’t have big answers or takeaways—just a quiet appreciation for what time in nature and a change of pace can do. Stepping into a different rhythm of living allows for a small escape, but more importantly, it brings a new steadiness to face it all. It reminded me that even when things are going well, it’s still very good to step away and reconnect with yourself. Carving out space Carving out space to disconnect from the noise of your own life—even for just a few moments—can open up something different in us. For me, it’s a deep sense of gratitude for all that I have: for the good in my life, for the people around me, for the work I do and, for feeling safe and secure. These are the things that remain important to me, no matter what’s going on in the world. Mostly unplugged but not disconnected, Coach Minda   Which way do I go? So many different routes! As a coach, I see it all the time: perfectionism fueling procrastination, ADHD traits making time management trickier, and self-criticism keeping people stuck in avoidance mode. It’s not laziness (well, sometimes it is — let’s be real! 😉), but more often, it’s the complex combination of perfectionism, procrastination, and sometimes, ADHD symptoms that makes it harder to get things done.
There’s a ton of research in psychology, neuroscience, and organizational behavior that sheds light on these challenges. These challenges rarely stand alone. More often than not, they overlap and feed into each other in ways that can make progress feel frustratingly out of reach. And the good news? Once you see how these patterns work, you can start to loosen their grip and make progress with less stress. Perfectionism and Procrastination Perfectionists set the bar sky-high making it hard to even start a task.Then, when a task feels overwhelming, procrastination kicks in as a way to dodge the discomfort. Before you know it, time disappears, and stress levels spike. Sound familiar? That’s because perfectionism and procrastination love to work together to mess with your time management. Perfectionism without Procrastination Not all perfectionists procrastinate. Some are highly productive but at a cost. If you’re constantly tweaking, overworking, or feeling like your best is never enough, you might be paying in other ways:
For many people with ADHD, perfectionism adds another layer of frustration. Missing deadlines, avoiding tasks, or struggling to finish projects often ties back to perfectionist tendencies. Other times, it’s as simple as “I wasn’t in the mood” or “I forgot about it.” Whatever the reason, the result is the same: increased stress, low self-esteem, and that awful feeling of letting yourself down. What the Experts Say I love digging into research, and these three experts offer some great insights into the perfectionism-procrastination trap: Adam Grant: Done Is Better Than Perfect Organizational psychologist Adam Grant points out that perfectionists often get stuck in endless tweaking mode, leading to missed deadlines and lost momentum. His advice? Shift your focus to progress over perfection. Getting something done at 80% is usually better than spending twice as long chasing 100%. Perfectionism drains time, energy, and motivation—and the cost isn’t always worth it. Rick Hanson: Your Brain Loves to Focus on the Negative Neuropsychologist Rick Hanson explains that our brains are wired to dwell on mistakes more than successes. This negativity bias keeps perfectionists locked in self-criticism, afraid of failing, and hesitant to start. His take? Train your brain to celebrate small wins instead of obsessing over flaws. The more you recognize progress, the less perfectionism holds you back. Timothy A. Pychyl: Perfectionism Fuels Procrastination Procrastination expert Timothy A. Pychyl says perfectionists often put off tasks because they fear their work won’t be good enough. The solution? Just start. A messy first draft is better than no draft at all. He also suggests focusing on starting, not finishing. Instead of thinking, “I have to finish this,” tell yourself, “I’ll work on this for 10 minutes.” Once you’re in motion, it’s easier to keep going. Moving Forward Perfectionism, procrastination, and ADHD can make everyday tasks feel like a battle. But understanding how these tendencies interact can help you shift your mindset and take back control of your time. Start by:
I'm here for you, Coach Minda   Over the past decade, I’ve listened to countless client stories—moments of self-doubt, cycles of overthinking, struggles with daily tasks, and the crushing weight of stress and overwhelm.
That curiosity about how we navigate these mental loops led me down a deep exploration: a mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) course, a meditation practice, workshops I developed and led, and an endless stream of books, podcasts, and courses on perfectionism, procrastination, and time management. One thing became crystal clear: we don’t control the thoughts that pop into our heads. They arrive uninvited, whether we’re busy planning tomorrow’s schedule, replaying an awkward conversation from last week, or wondering what’s for dinner. But in moments of deep focus—like when I’m coaching or fully immersed in a dance class—those thoughts fade into the background. And when an intrusive thought does break through, it’s easier to let it go. The challenge isn’t the thoughts themselves—it’s how we relate to them. I’ve noticed three common assumptions that keep people stuck:
But not every thought is worth a front-row seat in our minds. I’ve learned this the hard way—especially when I bump up against something that feels unfair, unkind, or just doesn’t align with my values. My instinct is to analyze, process, and find perspective. Perspective intrigues me—it fuels my curiosity and keeps me engaged. It challenges the judgments, rules, and standards we impose on ourselves and others, creating space for new ways of seeing. Stepping back and considering different vantage points reveals a fuller, more dynamic picture of any experience. I find energy in uncovering possibilities, exploring explanations, and breaking free from habitual ways of thinking. But if I catch myself stuck in a loop—replaying the same story, taking the same position, getting nowhere—it’s time to shift gears. Here’s what helps:
We don’t always get to choose what thoughts pop into our minds, and sometimes, unwelcome ones show up uninvited. But we do have a say in which thoughts we engage with and which ones truly matter to us. The rest? They don’t need our energy or attention. Coach Minda |
My family, relationships, movement, nature, flexibility of mind, exploration of alternative perspectives & openness are central to my life.Archives
August 2025
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