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Coach Minda's
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These blogs are a way to share my thoughts and insights with you. Feel free to comment and share.
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Lifting my Gaze Yesterday, I wrote a post about how a small shift during an e-bike ride—lifting my gaze from the ground right in front to the path ahead—made everything feel steadier, calmer, more manageable. Instead of looking down and reacting to every bump and rock (which, it turns out, was part of what was throwing me off), I looked farther out and found a rhythm. That “aha” moment led into a broader reflection and a metaphor: maybe we move through things more easily when we stop fixating on every bump and bruise along the way. Staring at My Feet Today…that metaphor didn’t hold. Not even a little!! Today was a hike. A steep descent. Wet rocks, moss, roots and mud—the kind of trail where you feel the consequences of a wrong-footed move. I’ve had a fall already on this trip, just not on something this treacherous. In those steep descents and wet conditions, that wide, forward-looking gaze and perspective didn’t help in the same way. I couldn’t just look out and trust the path to sort itself out underneath me. Rigidly staring straight down, narrowing my focus to the small area around my feet—reading the ground, seeing what might cause me to slip, I had to bring my attention in close--to detect loose or greasy rocks. Deliberate steps. Every foothold tested.
Looking far and nearSo the metaphor from yesterday didn’t apply here.
Maybe that’s the real takeaway: there isn’t just one way through a challenge.
Where you focus shifts, too. There are moments to look far ahead, to find direction and rhythm—and moments to keep your eyes close, grounded in what’s immediately underfoot. Because different terrain asks for different ways of paying attention.  With muddy shoes, Coach Minda
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  We’re in the Azores on São Miguel for a winter getaway, and I decide to hire a guide to take us on an e-bike ride from Ribeira Grande on the north coast to Caloura on the south—cutting across the island on back trails.
It starts off easily on paved roads, until we hit the dirt path—long stretches of loose gravel. Suddenly, I’m struggling. I’m staring straight down at my front wheel, trying to correct for every tiny wobble from the rocks and stones. The more I try to control it, the more the bike seems to move underneath me. I can feel myself getting tense, overworking every little adjustment, and starting to worry about the many kilometres ahead. Where You Set Your Gaze Our guide watches me for a bit, then calmly says, “Minda, stop looking down at your front wheel. Set your gaze much farther ahead—you’ll find the ride becomes a lot easier.” It takes me a moment to trust it, but I lift my eyes and look as far ahead as I can. And almost immediately, everything shifts. From Wobble to Flow One simple change, and the corrections become fewer and smoother. The bike steadies, and my body relaxes. I’m honestly amazed that such a small adjustment could completely change the experience. I had to practice letting my eyes rest farther away. And it makes sense in a very human way—something any cyclist or dancer knows: where your eyes go, your body follows. When you look down, everything tightens and becomes reactive. When you look ahead, your movements organize themselves more smoothly and naturally. Of course, I say out loud, “Wow… what a metaphor for life.” When we fixate on every little bump, we overcorrect, overthink, and exhaust ourselves. But when we lift our gaze and look ahead, we find a steadier rhythm. We still adjust—but with a lot more ease and a lot less panic.Turns out, balance isn’t about reacting to everything right in front of you. It’s about keeping your eyes on where you’re going. Happy trails, Coach Minda E-bikes and mountain bike trips: A special shout-out to Bernardo at Up Down Trails  A new year is as good a moment as any to look at long-standing patterns—especially the quiet ones we barely notice because they feel so familiar. One of the most common patterns is our tendency to replay stories about ourselves and relationships.
These aren’t just memories. They’re narratives we build around strong feelings—about what someone did, what it says about them, what it means about us. We tell the story again and again, sometimes with small tweaks, but usually with the same conclusion. This is what the mind does - it repeats, loops and runs the story over and over; not to discover something new but to help us make sense of a messy experience or feeling. In the moment, it feels productive. Stories give shape to feelings. But repetition is self-reinforcing. Even real moments of insight often get folded right back into the same familiar framework. The story gets more coherent—but nothing actually shifts. For those with a particularly self critical mindset, the replaying of stories often over emphasizes perceived failures and harsh self-judgments. What the Loop Looks Like You might recognize it in moments like these:
I often tell clients: If repeating the same story from a few different angles actually led to a better way of thinking or feeling, it would be a great strategy. Unfortunately, it usually doesn’t. It reinforces the same interpretation and deepens the groove. Why We Do This This loop makes sense. The mind is trying to help shape relational experiences into a coherent narrative. It helps us:
In other words, the story isn’t there to tell the truth—the mind prefers a familiar explanation over a destabilizing shift in perspective. Loosening the Grip (Without Forcing Insight)
A Final Thought Through perspective-taking and mindfulness, we can start to relate to our narratives more lightly—not rejecting them, not believing them completely, but holding them with curiosity. When we loosen the need for coherence, something surprising happens: insight doesn’t have to be forced. It arrives on its own, quieter, but far more transformative. Wishing good stories without too much replay! Coach Minda These are undeniably challenging and heartbreaking times. Like many, I am deeply troubled by the state of world affairs, yet I continue to hold on to hope for change. I believe in our capacity to adapt, to support one another, and to keep moving toward something better.
I was saddened to learn of the passing of one of my all-time favorites, Jimmy Cliff. His music—full of hope, resilience, and joy—has been a companion through many chapters of my life. If you ever need a lift or a reminder of the strength of the human spirit, I encourage you to play songs like Many Rivers to Cross, You Can Get It If You Really Want, or I Can See Clearly Now. Even amid uncertainty, there remains so much to be grateful for—not a day goes by when I don’t count my lucky stars. My work with each of you over the past year(s) has been deeply meaningful. Every day, I learn more—not only about who you are as individuals, but also about the beautiful complexity of humanity. We are all doing our best to lead good, meaningful lives. I wish you, your families, your friends, and all those you love peace, health, happiness, and an abundance of good luck and good fortune. My office will be closed from December 22, 2025 - January 2, 2026 Until we meet again, Minda |
My family, relationships, movement, nature, flexibility of mind, exploration of alternative perspectives & openness are central to my life.Archives
March 2026
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