Open your heart

We have all heard the expression or used the expression you need to "learn how to love yourself", as a response to someone who is overly critical of themselves, lacks in self-care practices, doesn't set healthy boundaries, suffers from low self-esteem or is unhappy about their life. It is a catch all phrase to mean: Make some changes or your life is going to go south fast.

This expression has never agreed with me. 

I believe we must counterbalance our critical side with more self-compassion and kindness. I prefer expressions that imply strengthening our capacity to accept, respect and appreciate oneself.  Loving oneself is a directive intended to bring this about, but as a saying, I reserve it for clients who really deserve a night out away from their kids or maybe permission to splurge a bit. It does not inspire or provoke (in me) any action to rise up and overcome a challenge, make peace with oneself or counter any self-criticism. 

Self-love, self-acceptance, self-respect or self-appreciation starts with learning:

• Not to identify and believe every thought your mind generates 
• Not to take your thoughts too seriously
• To embrace all of you - the good, the bad and the ugly
• To cut yourself some slack (unless you are already slacking off)

I can help you with the rest.

In kindness and compassion,
Coach Minda

I am a work-life coach. I coach people who want to improve their professional and personal lives. I will help you find more zest, hope and energy and more meaning, balance and satisfaction in your work and life.

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