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These blogs are a way to share my thoughts and insights with you. Feel free to comment and share.

G.O.Y.A 

29/1/2015

2 Comments

 
I certainly don't mean the painter.

If you haven't been doing something you need to do, there comes a time when you just have to GET OFF YOUR ASS and do the damned thing. G.O.Y.A


You probably want to do the thing you're supposed to do, but keep telling yourself:
  • I don't have time!
  • Its' hard!
  • I'm not sure!
  • What if it's not the right thing!
  • Maybe later!
Whether you are a procrastinator, a dawdler, or a foot dragger, you are wasting time. Big time!

If any of the situations outlined below sound familiar, it might be time to
G.O.Y.A
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Take flight!, Zack Miloff
  1. Your current way of doing things (or not doing things) isn't working. Something has to change and you know it. If you were managing a company, you might look at indicators such as poor finances, lousy sales, low customer satisfaction, or negative survey responses and say, "this business is not doing well and needs to change.”  What indicators suggest you’re not doing so well and need to change? If you’re overstressed, unhappy, unsatisfied, easily fatigued or plain ole grumpy then you know what’s needed.  G.O.Y.A!
  2. You don't set out to achieve anything – so you don't get much done. Instead you seem to prefer worrying about how little you are accomplishing, or worrying about where to start.  So just start small and take one step at a time, but get going.  G.O.Y.A!
  3. You don't put in the effort that’s needed to get ahead.  You aren’t developing skills or deepening your knowledge about something of interest or importance. Instead you focus on the surface, without exploring deeper ideas. You wonder why you feel bored. G.O.Y.A
  4. You are disorganized, don't prioritize, and lack daily rituals that provide structure.   You tend to focus on lesser tasks and projects, keeping yourself busy but essentially wasting time, rather than working on big tasks that make a difference.  G.O.Y.A! 

Procrastination has a way of invading one’s life, and damaging your personal ecosystem, much as Zebra mussels or Asian carp invade our local waterways and damage the established ecosystem.


Don’t let procrastination, dawdling or foot-dragging take over.

Just get started.

G.O.Y.A!
Coach Minda

MUSIC TO G.O.Y.A


2 Comments

Procrastinators, if not now, when?

19/1/2015

2 Comments

 
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Was Rodin's Thinker really a Procrastinator?
Procrastination is the practice of carrying out less urgent tasks in preference to more urgent ones, or doing more pleasurable things in place of less pleasurable ones, and thus putting off impending tasks to a later time, sometimes to the "last minute" before the deadline.  
– Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.  Mark Twain


There’s no single type of procrastinator and no single explanation for why procrastinators do their thing, or, rather, don’t do the things they should be doing.

What I see in my coaching practice are three types of procrastinators:
  • Chronic procrastinators, who have difficulty starting and finishing most tasks.  
  • Situational procrastinators, who avoid certain kinds of tasks.
  • Rebellious procrastinators, who dodge or evade imposed tasks.

Regardless of type, procrastinators usually feel bad, stressed and guilty about their habit of not getting things done in a timely manner or not getting things done at all.   

If I could stand the guilt or stress I probably would be a procrastinator. But, I don’t do well when I’m stressed, falling behind, missing deadlines, or late.  I hate being late with library books! For me, the benefits of doing things on time far outweighs the high costs of procrastination.


Yet who doesn’t have difficulties choosing between more pleasurable tasks that give you a quick fix and the tougher less pleasurable tasks that require discipline, commitment and getting your hands dirty or at least sweaty? 
For example:
  • Do I go to exercise class or stay at home and watch a movie?
  • Should I order in food or make something healthy?
  • Should I tackle that tough project or wait till I clear my Inbox?

What do you find if you do a Google search on procrastination or consult procrastinators?
  • Irrational reasons for postponing doing something they know they will feel bad about later.
  • Concerns about others controlling, imposing or dictating deadlines or tasks that they would prefer to decide for themselves (the rebellious type!).
  • Anxiety-producing stress leading to a range of responses and emotions:
    - Desire to avoid any unpleasant and uncomfortable feeling;
    - Worry about not doing something well (perfectionist streak);
    - Fear of not knowing how to do something (incompetence);
    - Paralysis due to the complexity or number of tasks (fear of failure); and
    - Certainty they might not be making a right decision.


Are you are one of those people who gets down on yourself about not getting stuff done? Are you easily distracted? Impulsive?  Or prone to avoiding stressful tasks in favour of more pleasurable pursuits?

If you are saying “yes” then here are some ideas that will help you kick the procrastination habit. Or at least minimize the negative impact of putting off tasks till later. 

The first three ideas are foundations for the others.  As with any change, it’s best to start with small steps.
  1. Work with a short timeline – day to day, week to week, and month to month.
  2. Don’t make a big resolution – “I’m done with procrastinating and I’m doing everything on-time from now on” – because that will never work.
  3. What is most important is to never stop trying. When you fall short of your good intentions, which is inevitable, don’t give up. Try again.
  4. Ask for help – there is usually someone in your life who can help you break down that long list of tasks into smaller and more manageable pieces.
  5. Self-impose a few deadlines with tasks that are important to you and, if that doesn’t work, seek out externally imposed deadlines (e.g. from your spouse or a friend)
  6. Counter the temptation to surf the Net by using apps that block you from Facebook or other sites that are more pleasurable than the task at hand.
  7. Use timers on your smart phone or on your stove to keep you on-time and track.
  8. Recognize you are compromising longer-term goals (that really matter) for short term pleasures (that just prompt you to seek out more short-term fun to cover up your feelings of guilt).
  9. Tell yourself a story about the importance of conquering procrastination, how it will make your life better, or how you will feel better about yourself.
  10. If all else fails, work with a coach!  You need help.

    Keep trying,
    Coach Minda


Often I feel that projects overwhelm us when we look at how many hours are involved until completion. But just getting started is usually not that difficult. 
Emily Giffin

2 Comments

It all depends on how you look at it

11/1/2015

5 Comments

 
Picture
Erik Henningsen, Evicted Tenants, 1892
When I was 12 or 13 years old, my mother would lean large reproductions of famous paintings (e.g. Monet, Picasso, Van Gogh) against the sofa and invite me into the living room to discuss the art. 

She would prompt me with a few questions such as:
  • "What do you see in this painting?"
  • "What part of the painting do you like"?
  • "What do you think the artist was trying to tell us?"
  • "What do you see that makes you say that?”

Then she would ask me to look at the painting from a distance, and then close-up:
  • "And now what do you see?"
  • "Anything different?"

She would offer her perspective on each painting, adding background stories about the artist and the painting. These facilitated discussions helped her prepare teaching notes for her work with underprivileged children -- teaching art and art appreciation. Mostly, I was co-operative. I knew it was for a good cause. She was not trying to torture me with arty conversations.

When I saw this painting at the National Art Gallery of Denmark, I was struck not by the beauty of the painting but by the many stories I saw within it, stories that were speaking directly to me:
  • The most obvious is the sad and devastating story about a family losing their home. I remember a professor who had run into difficult times say to me, "a few bad choices could land someone very quickly onto the streets." We must be grateful for our homes and compassionate toward those less fortunate people who lose theirs.
  • Not always, but sometimes, we have 'warnings' or 'red flags' that things are going to go downhill or crash if we don't act quickly, and change something we are doing, or make a decision that will avoid a crash. What is the pivotal moment when we decide to make a change? And how can we act before we 'get evicted' and find ourselves on the street?
  • What is home? Can we be at home where ever we are? I've always hoped I could feel at home wherever I am. I don't have this perfected, but it is one of my favourite pastimes. 

All of us can look at scenes from our lives as if they were paintings and ask ourselves:
  • "What do you see?"
  • "What do you like?"
  • What do think you are trying to say or do?

And then we can walk around the scene again, and look at it from different angles and distances and perspectives.

Lookingly yours,
Coach Minda






5 Comments

Standing tall

4/1/2015

1 Comment

 
Picture
National Gallery of Denmark © J.F. Willumsen, Mountain Climber, 1912. ©
I took this picture while visiting the National Gallery of Denmark in Copenhagen.  At first my eye was drawn to the vibrant colors. But the greatest impact came from the artist's choice to juxtapose a strong and healthy looking woman against an immense mountain. He framed them as equals.

She is as monumental as the mountain.
We all have moments when we feel physically and emotionally strong.
One might walk a bit taller, or have a bit more swagger. Or, maybe just be smiling on the inside and radiating positive energy. Perhaps feeling downright superior.

Of course, these moments are fleeting.

But, knowing this feeling of strength is within our reach, we can aim to more regularly achieve such a state of mind and body.

A surge of confidence can arise from within or can arise from without - when we feel the approval of others
. While both are needed, the former has more staying power, make that standing tall power.

You stand tall when you:

  • successfully tackle a problem
  • are restrained in your actions
  • choose your words carefully
  • avoid getting rattled or worked-up
  • make a difficult decision
  • accomplish something you've had your mind set on
  • learned a lesson well

What do you rely on to feel good about yourself? To summon your inner strengths and stand tall?

If you need support in getting up from under your own weight - so you can stand tall - call me.

Ain't no mountain high enough,
Coach Minda


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