This week I got riled up. At the last minute, a meeting I had re-organized my week's schedule to accommodate and had invested a lot of time preparing for, got cancelled.  This meeting was important to me and there was a lot riding on it. No apology or acknowledgement of the inconvenience accompanied the cancellation.

To me, it signaled disrespect and indicated I don't matter

Many relationships, good or not-so-good, come to an end over just this issue - not saying sorry.  There are a lot of reasons why it is hard to say sorry. And it can depend on the circumstances, the context and the person(s) involved.
For example, one might feel:

• I have nothing to be sorry for
• It’s not my fault - I didn’t do anything wrong
• I hate admitting to being less than
• He or she deserves it (or, now we are even)
• I don't want him/her getting the upper hand
• What is the big deal?

I got blinded by my anger and acted too hastily.  Had I paused long enough, I would have slowed down my angry over-reaction.  I know better.

Don’t let sorry be a deal-breaker. 

Next time, I'll take the high road.

Coach Minda

The first instruction he gave in his thick Russian accent was, "on this floor, the man is the lead and the woman follows. The man sets the rhythm, decides which steps and controls the direction."  In my new dress and high heel shoes, I looked him in the eyes and said, "I hear you."

Learning how to sense and respond to my teachers lead will be a challenge and once learned, an accomplishment I think.

The ballroom dance floor is going to be a hotbed of interesting lessons on leading, following, resisting, relaxing and working together. And of course all the lessons I can't yet anticipate! 

Here are a few of my personal take-aways from this week: 

• Another way to think about following is to see it as cooperating or adapting to another persons rhythm 
  

• To be responsive, I need to stay in the moment and not anticipate my partner's lead

• To be a good partner, I need to find the right balance between resistance and relaxation (neither one alone seems correct)
  
• Besides learning the steps and the rules, I need mostly to feel the movements in my body
  

If you want to learn ballroom, find a dance teacher. If you want to take first steps to a new career or improve on the one you have, call Coach Minda  514-791-4506.

Keep dancing,

Coach Minda