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These blogs are a way to share my thoughts and insights with you. Feel free to comment and share.

Overwhelmed with to-dos?

29/6/2013

4 Comments

 
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So as not to forget all the things you want to take care of, you create a to-do list.

  • You feel good.
  • You add more to-dos to the list.
  • The list grows.
  • The list grows some more.
  • Oh no!
  • Too many to-dos. You can't prioritize.
  • You feel bad and think: I’m so lazy, unproductive and irresponsible.
  • You also think: How come everyone else is able to get stuff done? What’s wrong with me?
  • Your energy dips.
  • Your confidence fades as you realize you can't do all these to-dos.
  • Family, friends and co-workers are frustrated because you aren’t delivering on what you said would do.
  • You are disappointing people.
  • You add a few items that are easy to do: make lunch, open the mail, take out the garbage, put the baby to bed, feed the dog. These you can cross off.
  • You have stress and tension in your chest, shoulders and neck. You sigh a lot. Breathing is more restricted from tension.
  • You are falling behind.
  • Your chronic inability to get things done and prioritize is making you feel depressed. And, overwhelmed. And, guilty.  

Does this happen to you?
How about trying these techniques to overcome your overwhelmed state?
 
Sit quietly and quiet your mind
The quieting of the mind allows you to let go of worry and self-doubt long enough to feel an upsurge in energy. A calmer mind makes it easier to take on the demands of the day.
  • Sit in a chair, feet planted on floor (or in lotus position) and hold your back straight, but not uncomfortably so.
  • Set your smartphone or any timer for five minutes or longer.
  • Let your hands cup naturally in your lap.
  • Don’t do anything.
  • Watch how your mind/brain fires off random thoughts. “I really don’t have time for this”, “I wonder what I should have for lunch”, “Why did he say that to me”? “My nose is itchy”….
  • Observe your thoughts. No need to talk, interact, discuss or engage in any way with them…..leave them alone.
  • If you find yourself getting involved in your thoughts, then anchor yourself by focusing on your breath.
  • Watch your breath go in and out.
  • When you think it’s safe, go back to observing your thoughts.
  • Each time you feel yourself pulled into them, go back to your breath. 

Prioritize on the basis of which ‘hurts’ the most
Choose the three to-dos that cause you the most grief, discomfort and irritation. Devote a set amount of time daily to tackle them (e.g., 3x20 minutes = 60 min). The reasoning goes like this: by working through the most uncomfortable choices on your to-do-list, you get the biggest rush of freedom and release when they're worked on.  By doing this you train yourself to be like a compass pointing to the places/tasks where all of your energy is stored up in guilt, paralysis and overwhelm.  If you choose by discomfort index you're energized instead of stuck or burdened.  

Prioritize on the basis of which ‘hurts’ the least

Choose the three to-dos that require the least amount of effort and devote a set amount of time daily to tackle them (e.g., 3x20 minutes = 60 min). The reasoning goes like this: by working through the easiest to-dos, you get an unusual sense of accomplishment, which encourages you to do more.

Create different lists for different to-dos
Have a different list for the major areas of your life; home, work, shopping, family and personal bucket list. This way you can see clearly what has to be done and in which category. A focused list can be prioritized. 

Just do it
Look at your list each day and do something so that you can cross it off and be done with it. Your list stays lean. Then, the problem doesn’t arise and you feel good about yourself.

Don’t make to-do lists
If all things fail, avoid making lists.Too many to-dos means you DO NOT do.

How do you get things done and avoid the to-do list meltdown?
Let me know.

Keep you posted,

Coach Minda

4 Comments

It ain't easy

20/6/2013

1 Comment

 
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“Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer.” ― Joseph Campbell

At 17, I attended the New School, a college for students needing an alternative approach. We were free-spirited would-be artists and intellectuals who counted self-understanding, truth-seeking and communal living as priorities. We couldn’t concentrate on school subjects, but had great stamina for talking. We dove into a pool of Christian spirituality, Eastern philosophy and Jewish mysticism, and tossed around names such as Krishnamurti, Jung and Carl Rogers. We tried macrobiotic and vegetarian diets as well as meditation, yoga, martial arts and dance, hoping to find new pathways to understanding.

The pursuit of answers and understanding has been a constant for me. I see the same pursuit in many others. The demands of studies, work, family, love and life may strengthen or soften our beliefs and opinions, but a longing to know remains within us.

As we get older, the pursuit gets harder, as life itself gets more complex.  Whenever anyone feels a sense of urgency about what they are meant to do, and how they should live, self-doubt and worry can easily emerge from the crevices of the mind and grow into monkeys on the back.

And then something unfortunate happens. The excitement of the quest and the journey becomes a burden. The fun of seeking the truth and asking deep questions becomes a duty. The inner critic points out our failings and decides we are guilty of inadequacies. The mind screams: “Why can’t you figure it out”? and “What are you going to do with your life?” We enter into a mean-spirited relationship with ourselves.

How about we call a truce and end this war of harsh words and strong judgments. Instead of fixating on ourselves as the problem, we can explore what really works for us.

If you are living an unfulfilled life and want to talk about it, call me.

Keep me posted,
Coach Minda
“If you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. Follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and  doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be.”  ― Joseph Campbell
1 Comment

Shifting energy

10/6/2013

15 Comments

 
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I’m sticking with my original plan to pump out a regular blog post but am late this week because I was participating in an intensive 30-hour coach training in NYC this weekend.
We did a lot of practice client/coach sessions and in the role of client I asked to be coached around how to take my business to the next level.
I identified, with the help of some excellent business coaches, a few key areas and next steps.

One area of focus is writing this blog.

Using the principles of the Core Energy Coaching process, which is the cornerstone of my specific coach training school, I was able to recognize some of my beliefs that are interfering with being able to write this blog. For example:
  • The blog has to be expertly written and effortlessly readable
  • Each sentence needs to be packed with value and brilliance
  • I’m not a real writer and only real writers should write blogs
  • I have nothing to say that hasn’t already been said
  • I need a crystal clear idea about the purpose of the blog and its content before I write it
  • I’m making a mistake putting myself ‘out there’

To expend less anxious energy thinking about this blog and to fulfill my true desire to write one, I have a choice. I can live with these limiting beliefs or I can shift my energy to a new set of empowering beliefs.

    I value personal expression and communication. This blog is a     creative space to practice my writing skills and to fine-tune         my ideas and reflections on broad themes. My writing will         contain insights that impact some, but not all and will evolve     over time. I will find my “voice” writing and not worrying.  If I     want to judge and criticize others less, I need to start with        less personal judgment. There is no risk in this blogosphere         as a blogger!
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If you experience the desire and motivation to do something, but stop yourself because you are anxious, fearful or worried, I’d love to work with you.



Keep you posted,

Coach Minda

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