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These blogs are a way to share my thoughts and insights with you. Feel free to comment and share.

Rising above the inner critic

6/4/2019

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I believe that even the most intractable inner critic, the most raging of inner voices can be quieted, even domesticated.
 
As a life-work coach, the personal issues that I am contacted about usually relate to: challenges of procrastination & perfectionism, poor lifestyle habits, burnout, personal effectiveness and career concerns.
 
When I ask first-time clients, what was the pivotal moment when they decided to contact me, reasons might include:

  • “I was tired of floundering”
  • “I realized I couldn’t make the changes on my own”  
  • “Therapy was helpful for insight, but I need action”
  • “My anxiety is causing problems at work (at home or at school)”
 
The reasons vary of course, but at the heart of this decision is a desire to “FIX” the problem.  When there is commitment and motivation and a willingness to make the effort, CHANGE is achieved.  The FIX works.

Of all the barriers to making change, the one that seems to hijack people’s commitment and motivation, is not discipline, self-control or even their effort – it is the voice of the inner critic.
 
The inner critic is the enemy of the people. It is a negative powerhouse that generates feelings of worthlessness, inadequacy and shame.
 
When I discover that the harsh critic is at work within my clients, sabotaging their efforts at a successful outcome, my task is clear. Teach them to dial back the volume of this voice:
  • Loosen its hold and power
  • Respond  gently, though firmly to its criticisms
  • Blanket the voice in kindness
long enough to focus on the problems they came to “FIX” in the first place.



Affectionately,
Coach Minda


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