BLOG; Thoughts on the business of life and work

This day is done

7/28/2014

Small lake in the Laurentians, Quebec, taken at sunset, July 2014

And it wasn't easy

More than half of the items on your to-do list didn't get done.
An important meeting, email reply or phone call was forgotten.
Another lousy sleep, lunch eaten on the run, and no work-out at the gym.
Resentment of your partner for not being more helpful, more communicative or more loving.

Same old self-doubt and worry gnawed away at your good intentions.

But a new day begins tomorrow
I find comfort knowing tomorrow is a new day. A chance to start afresh, with renewed hope and enthusiasm. To forgive myself and others for small transgressions, both real and perceived. A chance to do a better job than the day before!

This same idea can apply to each moment. We have a choice about how to direct our energy through each moment of living.

In my previous post, I wrote about how various stimuli can affect our energy, which in turn affects how productive or effective (as defined by each person) we are in our personal and professional lives. I also mentioned that our goal is not the avoidance of all negative stimuli but being able to speed up our recovery time, so we get back to 'normal' without overstaying our visit to low energy land.

So what happens when a new day arrives, and the same stimuli continue to trigger the same negative energetic responses? In other words, what happens when the same 'buttons' get pushed, resulting in deep drop-offs of enthusiasm, concentration or confidence? All which affect performance. Productivity. And effectiveness.

If I had a 'button' proof answer - we would all be spared the energy-sapping traps we can easily fall into.

Read on -- some of these suggestions may be helpful

Bad habits play a central role in being triggered negatively. If you spend a lot of time thinking about and doing the same things repeatedly, they will stick. So do the opposite:

Cultivate a low tolerance for energy-depleting activities and thoughts.

If you are under the impression you are somehow inferior, because only you are prone to the effects of negative stimuli, think again:

The best doctor, therapist, coach - you name it - faces the demons of negative thoughts.

We each have a mental map, built up over time that helps us find our way through each day. It represents a lifetime of learning about what works and what doesn't work and this map governs what we 'should' and 'ought' to feel, think and do. These are our basic assumptions, values and beliefs that we rely on to make our way in the world: to make decisions, to address difficult situations and to simply organize and codify information.

These mental maps exert tremendous influence and power over our reactions. And their influence is often unconscious. We often react without really knowing why:

If you have the same reaction time and time again to the same stimuli or to a 'family' of stimuli, ask yourself "where are my reactions coming from and why. And take it a step further, asking: "What is this really about? What am I really reacting to?"
How can I release my preconceptions of how I should respond or feel so that new feelings and ideas can surface?

Sometimes we are in the grip of low energy and this low energy phase can provide insight into our mental maps. If we see our reactions as clues we can conceive of and develop new ways of thinking:

Take advantage of low energy periods to investigate what perspective or point of view your mental maps are directing you toward. And then, by finding alternative explanations or insights, you can re-direct your energy.

On to higher energy,
Coach Minda

6 Comments

Energy self-sufficiency of the personal variety

7/23/2014

8 Comments

I was deeply inspired by this work of Anselm Kiefer, MASS MoCA

What continues to surprise and intrigue me is just how much fluctuation we have in our thoughts, feelings and actions over the course of a minute, hour or day.

Each of us is exquisitely sensitive to an infinite number of internal and external stimuli — physical, mental, emotional, social, spiritual and environmental — which affect our 'energy' levels. Some stimuli are energy-enhancing, others are energy-depleting.

Have you noticed how you can be engaged, committed, confident and enthusiastic and then something happens (a sharp comment, a glance, a feeling of guilt or shame) and you become quickly reluctant, distracted, insecure and disillusioned?

My view: The better you manage your energy, the better you manage your time. The benefits include increased focus, concentration, motivation and engagement — all of which underlie professional and personal effectiveness.

Just like your recovery heart rate — the speed at which your heart returns to normal after exercise can indicate cardiac efficiency, the speed at which your positive energy returns back to "normal" after it dips can indicate energy efficiency.

Examples of what may enhance your energy include:

receiving a compliment or feeling appreciated
being stimulated, challenged, or solving a problem
feeling connected or supported by friends
recognizing new opportunities
being comfortable in your home
having faith, something to look forward to
exercise, meditation and personal care

Examples of what may deplete your energy include:

receiving a negative comment, disapproval or criticism
being under-stimulated, unable to make a decision, or avoiding a situation
waves of self-doubt and worry
negative interpretations or perspectives
living with too much clutter or under less than optimal conditions
multitasking, spreading yourself too thin, doing too much
lack of sleep, poor health, pain

Energetically yours, Coach Minda

INTERACTIVE WORKSHOP - Energize your time: How to be a better manager of your most important resource.

Call for details - 514-791-4506

8 Comments

Cool as ice

7/9/2014

2 Comments

Photo by Laura Malbogat, Twillingate, Nfld - 2014

It's a great moment when you lift yourself out of a bad mood…Release a negative thought… Find a way out of a difficult situation… Stop feeling stuck in a rut… Stop longing for things to be different… Or finally feel cool as ice when confronting a long-term problem.

How do you turn around a less than desirable state of mind and heart?
What strategies do you use to shift or change your mindset?
What circumstances or situations cause you to sink into a bad mood? Or feel stuck?

If you are anything like my clients, you want to view tough times as opportunities to figure things out. To make choices. To be self-reflective about making changes. To think about where you feel challenged or unchallenged.

Sometimes we just need to be in these uncomfortable places before we can move on, recalibrate, become motivated, or define a new vision for our personal or professional life.

At other times we just need to skedaddle and hightail it out of those frustrating and repetitive traps we humans are so good at creating for ourselves.

For starters, consider these ideas:

"Stop it" (as therapist Bob Newhart says to a client in a fabulously funny video – below).
Accept the good and the "bad" – the darker tones are part of life.
Ask a friend for his or her input or feedback about "your difficulty" to gain new insights.
Experiment with how you look at things – play around with the focus of your internal lens (from wide angle to telephoto).
Understand that things are not always as they appear on the surface; much goes on outside our awareness (just as there is more iceberg under water than above)!

Skedaddle on,
Coach Minda

Anyone have a story to tell about how you pulled yourself out of a negative state of mind?

2 Comments

This day is done

Energy self-sufficiency of the personal variety

Cool as ice

Coach Minda

Please share these blogs.

Feel free to call/text 514-791-4506 & email minda.miloff@sympatico.ca to set up next appointment. Sessions can also be over SKYPE or WhatsApp.

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