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These blogs are a way to share my thoughts and insights with you. Feel free to comment and share.

Tick Tock, Tick Tock

6/11/2013

2 Comments

 
Do you have high expectations with a strong drive towards productivity? Do you feel badly if you don’t accomplish a laundry list of to do’s?
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While not everyone does, many people do feel stretched to their limits, yet unsatisfied with what they were able to accomplish professionally and/or personally on any given day or week. This pervasive dissatisfaction contributes to feeling guilty with added stress from not attending to the things that are important: this can be eating right, getting enough sleep, exercising, seeing friends, doing hobbies or doing a better job at work.   

I’m excited about a new workshop I will offer in Jan 2014 that addresses this need we have to exercise more control and choice around how we carve out time to satisfy so many of our competing needs, expectations and goals. Whether you are a University student, a stay-at-home mom, a professional at work or recently retired, there is a desire for peace of mind about leading a balanced, productive and accomplished life.

I’ve offered 10 suggestions to help kick-start the thought process about some obstacles to using your time.

1. Have a few goals that give you something to strive for and focus your energy, talent, enthusiasm and creativity. 

2. Keep your personal goals and intentions private. Why? Some research suggests  that once you tell and someone acknowledges your goal, the brain gets tricked into believing you have already done it.

3. Do you regularly overextend yourself to family, friends or work? “Just do it” is the empowerment of YES. And,  YES can feel really good. But if you feel pressured to say YES, when you want to say NO, you stray from your own goals. Your self-discipline is compromised. Over time, you lose sight of your own best interests. Never mind, that you can also feel resentful, taken advantage of, or under-appreciated.

4. Do you hate saying NO? If you are a people pleaser, afraid not to be liked, worried about disappointing or hurting others, afraid of conflict or of being perceived as selfish, saying NO is difficult.

But, saying NO also:
  • Respects your priorities
  • Protects your time
  • Sticks up for your self-interests
5. Get to know what really motivates you. Ask yourself  - what is it about x, y or z, (the things you say you want to do or achieve) that are so important to me?  You will learn more about what needs are being met, how important they really are to you and how else they can be met. 

6. We have conscious and unconscious ideas about what our ideal self should be doing and tend to pursue the things that fit this image. Ask yourself, am I really satisfying something I want to do or what I think I should be doing?

7. Ask yourself whether your current behavior and the choices you make are working to get you what you want. If not, how hard is it to make different choices?

8. The only person whose behavior we can control is our own. Exercise this control!

9. If you have a perfectionist streak, you might tend towards an all or nothing approach to getting things done. Consider testing out doing less than your "concept" of perfect.  It’s better than nothing.

10. Add up the amount of time you fritz away doing things that give you no real pleasure or value. Swap this time for things you really want to do.

Do you care about time? Is productivity, efficiency or effectiveness a concern? Does it matter to you whether you get through a list of to-do's? How do you cope with feeling bad, stressed or guilty? What time-management techniques have worked for you to get things done?  Please share.

Contact me if you you belong to an organization that is interested in a workshop on time-management.

Keep me posted,

Coach Minda

2 Comments
Maila Shanks
13/11/2013 03:44:22 pm

Love that # 2 point!
Here in India, the Hindu ethos includes something to this effect, without mentioning the scientific trigger on the brain (however, lots of the ol' Vedic philosophies & teachings from 1000's years ago have been recently proven to be scientifically sound).
In sheer enthusiasm for whatever it is I'm working on, I tend to often go blabbing about it to pretty much anyone & everyone...
In retrospect, the projects often don't come to fruition as described by me, or even at all...Perhaps this #2 point is the reason? Will definitely experiment. Spanx, Minda!!!

Reply
Minda
14/11/2013 02:23:16 pm

Thanks for generously sharing your thoughts on this. I think there is something to point #2. In this email exchange I had, the subject of point 2 is raised in the following way: "In terms of the goals question, I’ve seen folks actively engage in the “percolation” process and really gain momentum from this and I’ve also seen tremendous things come from spreading goals far and wide and loudly. So, I suppose if I have anything like a take on it at this point, it would involve questions around the spirit in which we do either. Are we letting the ideas percolate while consciously or subconsciously playing small and harbouring fear or are we doing so in a spirit of confidence and service? By the same token, are we sharing goals because we fear the inner work needed to tether them to something real (as one example of a fear-based motive) or are we sharing them broadly with a spirit of empowerment...? "

I'd like to have news of your experiment!

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