Pain, pain go away

I came home tired and happy after an evening of dance practice. Before turning in for the night, I did a fast bit of iPhone research to track down country songs to play for a waltz in my next class.

The words on the phone screen blurred and I couldn't quite read the song titles.

• I tried to correct the blurriness by moving the phone to different angles  
• I increased the back-light on the phone 
• I increased the font size
  

When I still couldn't read the song titles, I said to myself, "my eyes must be tired, maybe I need new glasses, something is wrong with the screen."  I turned off the phone, believing the screen's bright white light wasn't good for me.

Within a few seconds I saw trails of white and green light, in a zig-zag, cross- hatch formation, across the upper wall of my room.

I went to emergency, at the General. The diagnosis: aura without migraine.  It turns out this is quite common. In my case, a wicked migraine surfaced a day later. I had pounding behind my eyes, a throbbing head, and root-canal like pain in my mouth.

My aura without migraine, followed by a full-on migraine, gave me a chance to chew on two ideas that go far beyond this experience: 

• How pain is influenced by our thinking and emotions.
• How we can avoid or even deny an unpleasant truth, even when the evidence might be strong.
  

Pain is coloured by what we believe about the pain

The way we perceive and think about our pain influences our experience of pain. The way we interpret the pain can make the symptoms even worse.

• For example, when I said to myself, "this pain is awful, I can't handle it, now I'm going to get migraines for the rest of my life," my pain amplified. The more emotional I got, the deeper my fear and the greater the intensity of pain.
• On the other hand, when I said to myself, "this is only going to last a day or so, I can cope with this, people suffer from this and much worse all the time,"  I felt less panicky and better able to cope.

Yes, I coped better when I could:

• Relax through meditation.
• Focus on the painful sensations and not let my mind drift into worries about how I would always have pain.
  
• Enjoy a few distractions (Facebook and texting).
  

And I must admit a stronger medication was a godsend.

To deny, refuse and reject

When we directly experience something as not quite right, or when we perceive something or someone as not quite right, the feelings can be uncomfortable. It is quite natural to deny, reject or even refuse to believe a given experience or perception that is in fact the real thing.

In my case, it didn't take me long to realize that blurry vision and flashing lights were signals that things were not quite right. But I could see how in other circumstances my mind could easily play tricks on me. 

This can be a problem if we:

• Chronically deny, reject and refuse our direct experience or feelings.
  
• Understand the "evidence" is quite strong but  continue to seek out other explanations.
• Are unaware that we are refusing to accept a truth or fact, or deny its existence.
• Allow fear to keep us from facing our problems or avoiding action.
  
  

If you suffer from physical pain, there are pain management techniques worth learning.  And if you perceive something or someone as not quite right, pay attention. Same goes if things go blurry, as they did for me.

Blurry and pain-free,
Coach Minda