I came home tired and happy after an evening of dance practice. Before turning in for the night, I did a fast bit of iPhone research to track down country songs to play for a waltz in my next class.
The words on the phone screen blurred and I couldn't quite read the song titles.
When I still couldn't read the song titles, I said to myself, "my eyes must be tired, maybe I need new glasses, something is wrong with the screen." I turned off the phone, believing the screen's bright white light wasn't good for me.
Within a few seconds I saw trails of white and green light, in a zig-zag, cross- hatch formation, across the upper wall of my room.
I went to emergency, at the General. The diagnosis: aura without migraine. It turns out this is quite common. In my case, a wicked migraine surfaced a day later. I had pounding behind my eyes, a throbbing head, and root-canal like pain in my mouth.
My aura without migraine, followed by a full-on migraine, gave me a chance to chew on two ideas that go far beyond this experience:
Pain is coloured by what we believe about the pain
The way we perceive and think about our pain influences our experience of pain. The way we interpret the pain can make the symptoms even worse.
Yes, I coped better when I could:
And I must admit a stronger medication was a godsend.
To deny, refuse and reject
When we directly experience something as not quite right, or when we perceive something or someone as not quite right, the feelings can be uncomfortable. It is quite natural to deny, reject or even refuse to believe a given experience or perception that is in fact the real thing.
In my case, it didn't take me long to realize that blurry vision and flashing lights were signals that things were not quite right. But I could see how in other circumstances my mind could easily play tricks on me.
This can be a problem if we:
Blurry and pain-free,
My family, relationships, movement, nature, flexibility of mind, exploration of alternative perspectives & openness are central to my life.