Out of sync and step

During a break from dance class I asked a sweaty woman in high heels if I could blog her story. She agreed if no names were used.

Her account
My husband, with not a heartbeat for dancing, went along with a non-pressured plan to take a few private ballroom lessons.

Eventually, we would be able to dance together. But for now we have our own teachers. And mine is so good.

After returning from my class one night I suggested we practice the basic cha cha steps he told me he is learning. You know, the rock step and then chassé to the left, cha-cha-cha.

We took our positions and I hummed out a tune. I waited for him to take the lead. He shuffled forward and back but not doing any cha cha steps.
I said in a good-natured way, "Oh, don't worry, I'll show you how to do it." 

As I proceeded to demonstrate the first step, he said,  "that's not how I have been taught to do it. I want to do it the way I was taught, otherwise I am going to be confused."

We tried again. To support him feeling sheepish that he didn't remember the steps, I said for a second time,  "I'll show you how, it's very easy and I'm sure it will all come back to you."

More feet shuffling. He did a front and back rock step, but again without the cha cha. This time I was impatient and said,   "Let me just show you, it's really not too hard and I know how to do it. You do the rock step and then cha cha cha to the left."

Frustrated, he said, "let's do this later because I'm getting tense and forgetting everything."

We were upset with one another. He was upset about my insistence and I was upset that he got so upset. I thought he could just as easily be laughing about it.

Next day at the studio, I asked them, "why is my husband being taught the cha cha but not with the cha cha step."

Oh, they said, after looking at the special black book,  "he's not learning the cha cha. He is learning salsa!  

The moral of this story according to Coach Minda:
It seems at times a miracle that we understand one another at all. We presume what we say is heard as we intend. But our varying reference points mean that understanding what we have been told, or what we have heard, leaves a lot of room for misunderstanding -- make that misunderstandings. 

There are days when you are doing the cha cha and you think your partner is too. But he or she is actually doing the salsa.

Some days we are just out of sync and step!

Dance on,
Coach Minda

Single or in a couple, if you want to find a deeper connection with someone or improve your current partnership, call Coach Minda: 514-791-4506