High standards but reasonable expectations

This couple demonstrates exceptional skill. I will not in this lifetime, dance like Oxana.
As a relatively new ballroom dancer, this is an example of having high standards, but  reasonable expectations.

Awhile back, I wrote a few popular blogs about procrastination, the frustrations of managing time, and why you need to get off your ass if you want to get things done.

What are the stories we tell ourselves when we don't do things that are important to us, and then become disappointed in ourselves when we don't live up to our own expectations? And all this to our detriment.

Feelings about being less than and deficient-in can come on quickly and unexpectedly. They hit hard. So do the painfully insecure feelings of not having sufficiently achieved, or of not being special, gifted and highly talented.

It can take a little or a lot to be provoked into despairing moments of self-doubt.

I think self-doubt happens when we compare ourselves to someone else or when we don’t live up to our own standards.  Our own idealized sense of self.  I'm in favor of high standards. They must be of your own choosing though!

Our idealized self is a striver and an achiever. We respect this self.  This high standard tends to be a motivator for our everyday self who doesn’t have all those aspirations all the time.

What are the stories we tell ourselves when we fail to live up to these expectations? The most common stories seem to be:  I’m too busy, I’m too tired, I’m lazy or I’m a procrastinator. Or, we persuade ourselves that we aren’t that committed to the idealized self and all its high standards.

If we don’t live up to our expectations, especially the biggies on a regular basis, we open the door to unhappiness moving in. Chronic unhappiness and not the once-in-a -while kind! Once these freeloaders move in they take up a lot of space. They are hard to get rid of. And, they don't contribute a cent of rent.

There is also an ever-expanding tyranny of shoulds, the list of things one must accomplish, but that can't always be done. There is an unreasonableness of expectations, too!

A friend once said to me, "you have to accept and grieve that there is only so much time, opportunity and energy we have and not everything you can envision, can be done."

While it's in our nature to slip, to be less than our ideal, to not meet every demand we make on ourselves,  we shouldn't let this be the excuse either: Stop procrastinating, Start managing your time better and Get off your ass and have high standards but reasonable expectations.

Ideally,
Coach Minda