Coach Minda's
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These blogs are a way to share my thoughts and insights with you. Feel free to comment and share.
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One focus of my work is helping clients to understand how and why difficult emotions get whipped up in them. Another is finding more insightful, productive and positive ways to respond. Imagine a situation that pushes your buttons. Maybe you have a thesis to write, a presentation to give, a legal case to defend, a sticky conversation to be had, too much or too little work, or, a cold call to a prospective employer. Or, maybe you are smack in the middle of a traffic jam, caught up with whining kids or feel under attack by an aggressive colleague. As we feel more emotional and upset (insecure, irritated, annoyed, nervous or scared stiff- take your pick) we get more reactive. In varying degrees, we might for example:
Difficult motions come on fast and furious. Or, they can build up slowly, until we feel them as overwhelming. These thoughts and feelings we don't choose. But, we do have a say in how we act and respond. If you want to have a say in how you react, try these suggestions:
In the heat of the moment or even after a slow burn of emotion, self-awareness and self-control offers a vantage point - a bit of space to step back and choose how to respond to something or someone. How do you handle strong emotions? Do your buttons get pushed? Keep you posted, Coach Minda Please share your thoughts and strategies in the comments. If you found this post useful, I’m inviting you to share it with others!
7 Comments
John
1/10/2013 08:00:08 am
It's a work in progress being aware and making conscious decisions about how to react. Worthwhile in every way!
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Minda
1/10/2013 01:07:53 pm
I agree! I too have been working on this and ever so slowly, I feel more calm in the face of my own and others "intense and unpleasant" emotions.
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Danielle
1/10/2013 12:48:39 pm
It's amazing how sometimes we misunderstand our emotions and reactions and how we are driven by those ( understood or not).
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Minda
1/10/2013 01:11:25 pm
I'm glad you find these good suggestions. I like them too! It's true how we are often unconscious about what drives us towards or away from someone or something. But, totally more interesting when we do have more awareness. Thanks Danielle
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Katie
2/10/2013 02:27:12 am
Coach Minda,
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Minda
2/10/2013 09:54:31 am
Thanks Katie for your comment. Learning to quiet my mind was for me the single most important step to lessening my own reactivity. When you feel more peaceful, your mind can relax. Allows for more effective ways for dealing with various challenging situations. Now, if I get angry, I feel more detached.
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Lisa
3/10/2013 01:30:50 pm
Very helpful post Minda. This will certainly be a long work in progress, but I must make it a priority. Reading other folks' posts, as well as yours, does give me the motivation to work hard at stepping back and observing how I am "spinning". I hope to one day get to that detached state - feeling more free and less suffocated by toxic emotions.
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My family, relationships, movement, nature, flexibility of mind, exploration of alternative perspectives & openness are central to my life.Archives
August 2024
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