Ain't miscommunicating

An article I read a few days ago, How to influence the way other people see you, explains how there are only minor correlations between how you think you are viewed and how people view you.

"What matters about you, to someone else, is whatever has most meaning for them – not for you."

If you have the feeling that you are not getting through to someone, good chance you aren't!

The article triggered a memory.

I was working on two large healthcare projects:

1. Developing a partnership framework for working with external partners. A colleague from the IT department and I from the Health Education department were charged with writing a first draft of the framework. We had a pile of source materials. Neither of us had any experience in the type of thinking required for this work. And we both were very motivated to do a great job. 
   
2. Preparing a workshop on how to apply constructivist theories to the design of continuing medical education programs. Instinctively, I knew I was a constructivist, but didn't understand it well enough to teach even after months researching the topic. The workshop was approaching and I was nervous.

Constructivism is a view of learning based on the belief that knowledge isn't a thing that can be simply given by the teacher at the front of the room to students at their desks. Rather, knowledge is constructed by learners; they are the builders and creators of meaning and knowledge.

Here is what happened:

• My IT colleague agreed that I would write the first draft of the partnership framework and he would provide feedback. We would then develop our draft in an iterative manner, going back and forth. 
• He read my initial draft and felt nothing I wrote had merit or meaning for him so he made changes throughout.
  
• I was ticked off, to be polite about it. I felt I had written a great first draft and couldn't believe he had dismissed everything.
• In spite of being upset, I was trying to understand his perspective -- and in so doing I was reflecting my many months of researching constructivism. 
  

• My research led me to understand we learn in relationship to what we already know, what we believe, our biases, prejudices and fears.
  
• Our respective backgrounds -- IT and education -- significantly influenced how we interpreted the problem and the solution.
  
• Eventually, all the ideas I initially presented were reabsorbed into the draft.
  

After all this I understood constructivist theory well enough to lead a workshop, with confidence and conviction. I also became more sensitive to how so many of our misunderstandings and miscommunications are rooted in the fact that each of us generates our perceptions of the world and those they encounter through a unique lens.

Coach Minda